We’ve recently learned that AI or Chat GPT benefits professionals; some might argue personally for users. But should couples or individuals use it to spice up their sex lives in the bedroom? According to sexperts, it depends on how you’re using it.
Shamyra Howard, a sex and relationship expert, says, “AI can be helpful to your love life if you know how to use it with intention. AI can be a powerful tool for pointers on deepening intimacy, boosting communication, and even enhancing pleasure, but it should support your connection, not replace it.” She continues, “In my work as a sex and relationship therapist, I see people using AI in creative and affirming ways: from generating customized love notes and sexts tailored to their partner’s style and turn-ons, to curating date night ideas, apology texts, or even daily intimacy prompts.”
However, it’s important to note that AI shouldn’t replace human connection, and doesn’t serve as a fix for a broken relationship. “Some people use AI-powered chatbots as a gentle introduction to conversations they’ve struggled to have in real life. But here’s the thing: AI is only as good as the human behind it. If you’re disconnected from your partner, emotionally unavailable, or unclear on what you need, no robot will magically fix that. AI can help initiate conversations, but the real intimacy comes from showing up, being present, and doing the work,” Howard states.
AI can’t do the work for you, in and outside the bedroom. There are limits. Howard suggests not using AI to avoid hard conversations or outsource emotional labor. “And definitely don’t rely on it to interpret your partner’s needs or feelings. It’s a tool, not a mind reader or therapist,” she states.
If used mindfully, AI can be part of a modern intimacy toolkit, if not leveraged as a substitute for human connection. “The spark still needs to come from you and your partner when it comes to sex,” says Howard.
Nikki Coleman, a sex expert, is all for using AI to dial up your sex life, especially AI-supported sex toys. “AI is everywhere, even in our sex lives. There are AI-supported or enhanced sex toys on the market for both penis and vulva owners. There are specific AI-generated sex chat platforms, too. You can even use ChatGPT to help you identify creative or different ways to explore your sexuality or improve your sex life with your partner. However, I think it is important that we remember that AI is never a replacement for real human connection and intimacy. AI-supported sex toys can help you understand your body in perhaps a more efficient way by analyzing data that supports your pleasure,” says Coleman.
She continues, “Lots of women struggle with dirty talk, advocating for their sexual needs, or flirting with their partners. Tapping into ChatGPT as a way to help in this area is a wonderful way to use AI to improve your pleasure and sex life.”
However, both experts underscore the importance of not centering efficiency as more relevant to your sex life than the joy, play, and possibility of exploring your own body and your partners. AI can help you boost your creativity with foreplay, flirting, or intimate conversation starters with your partner, but leave the rest up to your mind-body-spirit connection with your partner for optimal results.
