Feel Your Rage, Sis: This New TikTok Trend Encourages Us To Be Meaner, But Is It Helpful?
According to TikTok, it’s time to get mean. On the social media platform, thousands of people, specifically women, are deciding to be meaner in 2025. Whether they plan to be meaner to men, fellow women, or exercise boundaries to limit people-pleasing, because they are simply tired of shunning their thoughts, feelings, or needs aside to appease others. But what does being meaner mean? Is it helpful, counterproductive, or harmful?
According to psychotherapist Meghan Watson, “being meaner” in this context is often just code for being more direct and to the point. “When you’ve spent a lifetime of crossing boundaries, people-pleasing, or performing niceness for safety and acceptance, there can be a backlash from those who benefited from you not setting a limit. It’s not “mean” just because someone isn’t happy with your boundary,” she states.
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Watson continues, “For many Black women and femmes, being called ‘mean’ is an unfortunate reality when we stop apologizing for our boundaries. Saying no also means saying yes. What are you opening up more to when you practice healthy anger and boundary setting?”
She believes it’s essential to think beyond the semantics of “mean” here. Better boundaries aren’t about cruelty—it’s about learning how to confront things without shame. When you’ve spent years over-accommodating and shrinking your boundaries to fit others’ needs, even neutral self-advocacy can feel like a radical act.
Kobe Campbell agrees but has a unique take on this trend that’s rooted in adolescence. “Remember when you were a teenager and felt like you could do anything? The sense of invincibility, the boldness to take risks, and the drive to live without overthinking how others perceive you? A new social media trend is labeling that boldness as rage. And now, it’s encouraging women to “be meaner,” but what does that mean?”
She says the word “meaner” in this context doesn’t necessarily refer to cruelty. It often reflects a rejection of people-pleasing, an unabashed spontaneity, and a willingness to prioritize one’s desires over social expectations. It’s a movement that has gained traction as many women reflect on who they used to be versus who they are today.
