We’re noticing another TikTok trend emerging around dating: the “Date With Me” trend. This trend essentially allows viewers to take an inside look at their romantic dates or dating lives.
The trend has rapidly gained popularity, garnering 148.7M posts and counting. Although the trend promotes sharing unfiltered dating experiences and intimate moments, we wonder if people should participate or if keeping your love life private is better. Luckily, we have several relationship experts and therapists who can chime in on this topic. According to Kobe Campbell, a licensed clinical mental health counselor, the “go on a date with me” trend invites us into sweet, unfolding moments. It captures nervous laughter, shared appetizers, first glances, and soft beginnings. For some, it’s a creative ritual, a way to document dating with intention and even accountability. Still, it also opens us up to something else: the awkwardness, disappointment, or even the trainwreck of a first date that doesn’t go well. And in a world where everything is content, it’s easy to forget that those uncomfortable moments are still intimate and human and deserve care.
As a trauma therapist, she understands why this trend can feel empowering. “When you’ve spent years silencing your desires or minimizing your worth, saying yes to visibility, joy, and healthy love can feel like reclaiming something. It’s a declaration: I’m worthy of being seen, loving, and being loved out loud. But I also gently invite us to pause. Because first dates are tender territory, for those healing from trauma, they’re not just casual hangouts—they’re moments where your mind and body are assessing safety, where your old wounds are listening in, wondering, Will this be different from my past disappointments?,” she states.
Campbell believes when a camera documents parts of a relationship too soon, it may shift the couple’s energy from connection to curation, which isn’t authentic. She cautions, “You might find yourself watching the date unfold through the eyes of an audience rather than your own heart. And when we’ve been conditioned to perform for love—to earn belonging—we may not even notice that we’re editing ourselves for the camera rather than anchoring ourselves in truth.”
Additionally, beyond the emotional implications, there are legal and ethical ones, too, like consent to film. “In many places, filming someone without their knowledge—especially if their voice is recorded—can violate privacy laws. Even if it’s legally allowed in your state, it’s not always relationally ethical. Filming someone without their clear, informed consent isn’t just a legal risk—it can be a breach of trust,” Campbell shares.
Campbell suggests that dating should also be rooted in integrity. “Dating should begin with honesty, clarity, and mutual respect. That includes asking: “Would you be okay if I filmed part of our date for a creative project I’m working on?” It’s not just polite—it’s foundational. Because if we’re looking for love that’s rooted in truth, transparency has to start on day one.”
Before participating in the trend, as a content creator, she suggests the following: “Starting your relationship with an audience may create an unspoken contract, one where people expect ongoing access to a relationship that’s still taking its first breath. You may find yourself navigating a new connection and managing the expectations of strangers who feel entitled to updates, answers, and explanations. That’s a lot of pressure for something meant to grow gently, in its own time,” Campbell says.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t record your date. But it does mean it’s worth asking:
- Does sharing this moment deepen my experience or dilute it?
- Is this date about connection, or is it about content?
- Am I prepared to manage the public’s curiosity if this becomes something or doesn’t?
If you love documenting your life, that’s beautiful. But you also have permission to keep some things sacred. You can:
Film quiet moments after the date instead of during it.
- Share reflections instead of footage.
- Record but choose not to post.
- Keep your favorite memories just for you or the two of you.
Licensed clinical psychologist and certified intimacy and relationship coach Jacqueline Sherman believes that keeping your love life private is a good idea. “Keeping your love life private can be a powerful choice—especially if you intend to quiet the noise of outside opinions and focus on deepening your connection with yourself and the person you’re dating,” she says.
But why should we consider keeping our love lives private? Sherman says, “When you’re dating, public attention can distort your perception of the relationship. If you’re trying to stay connected to your intuition, values, and emotional needs, sharing publicly can invite opinions, pressure, and comparison.”
She continues, “Over time, this noise can cloud your clarity and even lead to decision fatigue. Privacy creates room for honest reflection, emotional safety, and intentional growth. It gives you the freedom to nurture the relationship without seeking validation or feeling the need to perform. Instead of curating moments for others, you get to be present for yourself.”
What are some ways to keep your love life private, according to Campbell and Sherman?
Get Expert Guidance: Consider working with a therapist, dating coach, or relationship coach as you navigate your love life, primarily if you aim to do so privately and intentionally. These professionals offer guidance rooted in your unique relationship history, emotional patterns, and personal goals. With an expert, you’ll receive thoughtful advice and meaningful questions that spark curiosity, deepen self-awareness, and support your growth as you move toward a healthy love life.
Try ‘Date Journaling’: As you date, track your journey by journaling about your experiences and love life. This is a great way to process what’s happening in real-time while keeping things private and intimate. Consider the following ‘date journaling’ prompts:
What am I hoping to learn about the person I’m dating? What do I want them to learn about me?
What values are most important to me in a relationship, and how can I spot alignment or misalignment?
How does it feel getting to know this person? What emotions are present? What insight does that give me?
What are the red and green flags of the person I’m dating?
What aspects of our connection feels genuine? How do I feel I may be performing or holding back?
How excited do I feel to continue dating this person? How excited do I think they are to continue dating me?
What does emotional safety mean to me, and how can I tell when I’m experiencing it? Do I experience emotional safety with the person I’m dating? Why or why not?
Confide in a Friend: Consider a trustworthy, emotionally grounded friend with a history of healthy relationships. The right friend will offer support without judgment and understand your values, past experiences, and relationship patterns. Because they know you well, they can recognize your blind spots, help you stay grounded when you’re caught in unrealistic expectations, and gently challenge you when needed. Their perspective can offer both emotional safety and accountability.
Define What Privacy Means to You: Privacy is personal. For one person, it might mean not posting on social media. For another, it means waiting to introduce a partner to friends.
Ask yourself: What does protection look like for me? What needs to stay between us while trust is still forming? Naming that boundary helps you protect your peace without shrinking your joy.
Share With People, Not Platforms: Platforms can’t hold nuance. People can. Real, trusted friends are where your story can stretch, shift, and be seen without judgment. Let those people in. Ask for their wisdom. Let them mirror back what you might not see clearly yet. You don’t need the public’s approval, but you do need honest, loving connection as your relationship takes shape.
Communicate With Your Partner About Privacy: Let them know it’s not about hiding—it’s about honor. You’re not ashamed. You’re intentional.
Say something like: “This matters to me. I want to be fully present before inviting others to watch.” A healthy partner will understand. And if they don’t—that might be information in itself.
Check In With Your Motives: Posting can be a celebration. But it can also be a cover. Before you share something about your relationship, pause and ask: Am I trying to prove something to myself or others? Am I looking for reassurance or applause? It’s okay to want to be seen. But make sure you’re not offering your relationship to the crowd in exchange for clarity only your heart can give.
Protect What’s Still Becoming: New love is delicate. Even strong love can be tender when it’s unfolding. The pressure of an audience can rush something that needs time or keep you performing when you need to be honest.
